During the 10 years before turning 30, I was in relationships where I couldn't be committed to or supportive of my partners.Like a classroom, life was teaching me what love was all about.For many men, they find themselves married, with children, a job and the game is over.
In youth, the game of sexual relationships is played according to the rules dictated by women. Young women of child bearing age have a clock ticking and they know that they need to find the most suitable father for their children.
They withhold their sexual favors while they are wooed by men.
I have created a life so full of fun and friends and work and kids and personal fulfillment that finding time for the average guy was uh, well, not so reasonable—thus the ensuing “search” for Joe Squared commenced. Photo overshares to new acquaintances, by the way, come off as a marketing ploy.
I did, however, learn a lot about myself and my priorities, about the dating process, about other people and that I have an entire closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. Relationships are about bringing out the best in each other, not the worst, and not the person someone else wants you to be. Ask don’t tell, listen more than you talk, and stop sharing your entire life story in the first hour. People earn the privilege of hearing your personal information and story by earning your trust; save it for the right people. Your actions speak louder than your words, and uh, your selfies.
So, when I turned 30 as a single woman, I was confident I knew who I was and what I wanted.
But, I came to five unexpected realizations while dating in my early 30s: If you've been out of the dating scene a while, you need to know online dating sites have changed the game.
) advice and stories, and in honor of my sisters and brothers fighting the good fight, here are my notes from the trenches. If it’s not, then it’s time to move on to something better. Stop inviting the Ghost of Christmas Past to dinner with you, nobody likes a third wheel.
This shouldn’t be difficult, it should be easy to be the best version of yourself around people with whom you spend time. There is a time and place for viewing the skeletons in your closet and unpacking your baggage. Your past has shaped who you are, it has shifted your paradigm and your perspective, but it is neither your present nor your future.
I decided to write the ending to a chapter of my life, the beginning of the end, as it were. That being said, be ready to see them; stay open and choose your concessions carefully.