As a part of my New Year's resolution that year, I decided that 2012 was going to be my year to meet the love of my life.I knew — or assumed — that this meant I had to date a lot.The problem is that this way of thinking perpetuates all of the dating games we know (and probably don't like).
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After that, it's as if they're all struck with amnesia, also becoming flaky or otherwise difficult to reach.
Subsequently, a week or two of hide-and-go-seek ensues and I've lost interest.
By that, I mean fill your life with fun, meaningful activities.
And do not cancel any of these fun, meaningful activities just because he calls and wants to see you.
Neder: My problem is that I don't want to play the dating game and I don't know how to avoid it.
I'm not interested in the type of relationship that's a sort of fragile peace treaty after a war of conquest.While guys enjoy the pursuit, they hate it when you act in a way that is deliberately trying to get them to chase you. And to be clear, that is not what I’m talking about here.I am not saying get him to pursue you by acting unavailable, I’m saying actually be unavailable.And, by extension, I also thought that it meant I had to play the game just right.I bought and read many how-to-hook-a-man books and advice columns about the "simplicity" of men versus the "complexity" of women (yes, they do exist.). Our culture puts pressure on all of us to figure out the "right way" to do everything — whether it be the right way to eat, exercise, be productive, or find the partner of our dreams.I was going about dating all wrong because I was putting my trust in strategy and tactics — keeping my guard up, in other words — rather than letting my real self shine.