Between 20, the number of people using online dating sites doubled, from 20 million to 40 million, and about one third of America’s single people participated in some sort of online dating last year.
People who, as one consultant in the piece points out, have an obvious financial incentive to “keep [these fuckers] coming back to the site as often as we can.” So. Jacob is in his mid-30’s, and claims that all his relationships pre-online dating ended in him being dumped for neglecting his girlfriends in favor of loner activities like “sports” and “concerts,” things one could never possibly enjoy with an appropriately compatible significant other.
Post-online dating, his options have expanded, he says he may “not be willing to wait” for one of his “girlfriend prospects” who doesn’t want to sleep with him immediately, and claims that he otherwise “would have married” one girlfriend out of convenience.
For better and for worse (as they say in those marriage vows , aaaaaah!
), the endless variety of online dating reminds you that there are options.
Because young people and/or anyone in the dating world don’t have enough things to be confused and anxious about, the Atlantic, of course, has a new piece by Dan Slater all about the ways in which internet dating is destroying human capacity for love and monogamy.
Bloggers, of course, have a lot of things to say about it, and publishers, of course, are peddling a new book from the author that you can pay a lot of money for if obscure topics like “human relationships” and “finding love” happen to interest you. You know it’s legit though, because Slater’s source material comes almost exclusively from a lone asshole named Jacob, and from people who make their livelihoods by running online dating companies.Online anecdotes blaming social media for failed marriages and relationships are easy to find: Meanwhile, 43% of U. Internet users check in with social networking sites daily and countless others use social networks on an irregular basis. Mark Gaither, founder of Redemptive Heart Ministries and author of , says “If social media—e-mail, dating sites, etc.—does anything to contribute to the divorce rate, it makes illicit behavior more convenient. “The Internet offers a less risky entrance to the world of cheating for someone who would otherwise choose a more constructive path.” Gaither argues that social networking isn’t the problem.Few people would leave a spouse at home to troll nightclubs for affairs because the exposure is too great. “I receive a lot of mail from men and women dealing with a wayward spouse, and they frequently mention dating sites, virtual sex, and hidden e-mail accounts in the context of cheating, but none see the Internet as the core problem,” Gaither says.And 81% “have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years.” A United Kingdom-based divorce service found references to Facebook in 20% of its divorce petitions, according to the Telegraph.This is in spite of the fact that the divorce rate has been slowly creeping downward (16.9 divorces per 1,000 women age 15 in 2008, slowly decreasing from a high of 22.6 in 1980). “The Internet, however, offers anonymity and a concentrated pool of potential cheating partners, especially if the philanderer knows where to look,” Gaither says.In many ways, online dating resembles offline dating — the resulting relationships are no different. So why do so many millions turn to the Web to find love?