You’ve moved out, gotten your own place, and you’re starting to think about moving on with your life.
You’re starting to notice other people when you go out and want someone to spend time with, someone who appreciates your company. While this may sound like a good idea, there are several problems to consider.
And you might think that means his divorce will be smooth, simple, and unemotional. You will have opinions about how things are or are not getting resolved at times – and that’s also understandable.
Currently, I am using online dating to meet new prospects, though I choose not to date anyone who is going through divorce.
I am divorced and have been for two years and am of the opinion that there is too much other stuff going on in one’s life during a divorce to date, as well.
You see, I separated from my ex two years ago, and our divorce was final about eight months later.
Simply put, dating has a zero percent chance of making a divorce go smoother, and a bazillion percent chance of making it more contentious. I get that Ben has been separated for a couple of years, and that it was his wife’s decision to move out. Ben will be preoccupied with the twists and turns of his divorce at times – and that’s understandable.
And when that happens, it’s anything but smooth, simple, and unemotional. That’s wear and tear on your relationship that would never have happened if Ben had wrapped up his divorce before you two started dating.
Even if that doesn’t happen, a divorce, no matter how civil, is nobody’s idea of a good time. So, yes, in a perfect world, people would conclude their previous relationships, paperwork and all, before entering into new ones.
Believe me, he will likely react to the fact that you are dating by making your life hell during the divorce process.
He may seek revenge to compensate for the anger, hurt, and embarrassment that he feels you have caused him.
Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!
Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.
North Carolina law still permits an action for “alienation of affection” against a third party whom the plaintiff feels is responsible for ending the marriage.