This is a thing: if you’re single in your 30s or 40s you can feel like you’ve missed a steamin’ big ship. Because you just can’t find people who fit the bill, who inspire something in your loins. When I started dating a guy at 21 we were building from a pretty low base, together.Dominant discourse, sadly, goes like this: The pickings are slim; it’s all second rounds and baggage and receding hairlines. But now, my life is rich and varied and independent and fun and full.But that is the point, so here goes: The post begins with a letter from a woman named Betty, who is in her late 30s and having a hard time finding men her age to date--she noticed that the men who approached her online were usually ten to twenty years older. The blogger, identified only as Moxie, confirmed that her situation was very bad indeed, and proceeded to make some very disheartening, blanket statements about men.
It’s not because men are deficient (I hate this kind of approach to the issue – blaming men).
I think it works both ways; my single male friends face a similar predicament.
If you're single and in your 20s, don't worry.
The reason you’re alone is not that you are unattractive or hard to get along with, but that you're looking for love in all of the wrong places.
Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing.
In this way, dating only adds fuel to the anxiety fire.Face it: your inebriated self isn't the real you, and it doesn't make sense to start a relationship based on what you're like when you're intoxicated.Try a Starbucks or an equally populated café, instead. Most of us aim, at least, to improve our lives year by year (otherwise, what’s the point?! And by this settled age, life is often in a pretty good spot, or, at least, better and richer than it was in our 20s: great friends, a career with up to 20 years back-end development, enough money to be able to not have to live off lentils and all-you-can-eat-Tuesday buffets, and to head to the pictures once in a while. In my 20s it was pretty easy for someone to add to my life, because it wasn’t fully formed. Whether we honestly feel this way in our more grounded moments or not, this is how our plight is often represented. By the time you’re in your 30s or 40s, your life is pretty ace. Maybe you finally feel you’re quite good at what you do. You don’t stay at parties any longer than you want to. In an ideal world your partner should improve your life, not detract from it. If a partner is making your life more difficult, and not not adding to your experience, then you probably shouldn’t be with them. Your personal bar for allowing anything or anyone into your orbit has lifted with each passing year, just as a course of nature.Anxiety disorders are the most common psychological disorder in the US, affecting 18 percent of the adult population.